Hello again.

3 min read

Deviation Actions

horsesrock102's avatar
Published:
1.6K Views
I have ceased drawing/painting/writing/etc for quite some time now and unfortunately, seem to be suffering because of it. My language is becoming less eloquent and my grammar and spelling is going downhill as well. It seems as though the saying "Use it or Lose it" is true in this situation. I would like to start writing again but I don't have any solid ideas or anything to really create with right now. I read some great boks by Johns Green which may have stifled my creativity in my head because I sit here and think 'How could I ever write something that good?.." but, whatever. My therapist says I have "the gift" so I need to pick it up again soon.

Since my last journal, I started taking anti-depressants, started talking to a psychologist, have been attending a trade school for about 6 months now, moved on from then-boyfriend and returned the lizard. I quite miss her to be honest. Now, I'm with a boy who makes me happy but we have our problems because of me. I mess things up a lot and I apologize and I try to make it better but sometimes, I make it worse and I'm sorry. I'm trying. I'm trying very, very hard..Give me time and I'll be better.

Maybe, I'll start a story with this or another series of poems, just to get everything out. I feel heavy and my spine always feels twisted and my mind is always somewhere else...

Also, I have quit the Cutco business. It was a hassle and basically required you to ruin all of your personal connections for their company and run your family and friend's families out of their money for some fancy (very high quality) knives. They harped on you and required you to call in at 8-9am every morning (including weekends) and report if you have appointments that day or not and if you say you don't continually, they tell you, pretty much, that you're not doing well and you're not gonna make any money (you were paid commission based on your sales and Cutco can't fire you because they considered you a partner, not an employee) and that is not motivating. So, I quit, spent some time looking for something else, went to interviews, tried very hard for things I wasn't interested in, did my best at an interview for something I was very interested in and have been working there since shortly before Christmas. It has great perks and they work with my schedule and I'm very happy to be working there except when I cant sleep, like tonight, and have to work at 8am to 5:30. ;D yayyyyy(not)

Anyway, I should try to sleep I suppose. Ugh. Tomorrow will be a fight.
© 2013 - 2024 horsesrock102
Comments0
Join the community to add your comment. Already a deviant? Log In